Horoscopes and homicides

The Canadian conspiracy and undeniable truth behind Ted Cruz, Zodiac Killer

Photo courtesy of MCT Campus and edited by Miranda Duncan.

Photo by: TNS

Photo courtesy of MCT Campus and edited by Miranda Duncan.

Story by: Miranda Duncan, Copy Editor

With controversy following former Republican candidate Ted Cruz’s decision to drop out of the election, American people deserve to know the truth behind the decision. Cruz must confess to the American people that he remains the mastermind behind the notorious unsolved California serial murders, also known as The Zodiac Killer.

Many theorists believe The Zodiac Killer remained inactive since the 1970s because the killer could lie in prison on unrelated charges. However, the more reasonable conclusion lies in the belief that The Zodiac could not continue to kill because he spent his time running for president. Now that Cruz no longer remains in the race, America once again will become the target of the notorious killer.

No known photographs or proof exist with Cruz and The Zodiac Killer together in the same room. Cruz cannot provide a reasonable alibi during the killing spree, and thus remains a main suspect in the killings. The American people must demand an alibi, or more importantly a confession, from Cruz the Zodiac Killer.

Many who remain ignorant to the truth maintain the belief Cruz did not execute the notorious Zodiac killings, because his birth certificate claims his birth happened after the killing spree. However, his birth certificate lies. The simple truth remains that the Canadian government falsified Cruz’s birth certificate to provide an alibi and infiltrate the American presidential election. Although Cruz’s presidential run ended unsuccessfully, the Canadian government originally planned to use the serial killer to win the election and overthrow American politics. The American people deserve to know the truth to protect themselves from future political espionage.

In order to protect the future generations and citizens of this country, Cruz must admit he remains behind the infamous crime spree. The American people must take action and ensure Cruz’s resume includes presidential candidate, Texas senator and serial killer.

Disclaimer: This article is a satirical narrative of the current affairs of the 2016 Presidential Election.